So, I survived one year, but this year, the thing I most dreaded (or not really dreaded at all, but mostly just never thought about) has happened. The teachers are starting to set me up with their friends.
First on the docket? A 37 year old Catholic School teacher.
In unrelated news, U2 came to town and I didn't really feel bad that I didn't go to the concert. yay me!
And in more unrelated news, I'm trying without much success to download an order form from the internet from Scholastic book orders. Remember those? I do, and now I get to order them all the time for myself! Hooray!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
New Programs
There's nothing like a new computer program to make you think that your computer savvy-ness was all a giant lie. Who know Printmaster Gold would be so challenging?
And in the past 3 days I have:
1. Sat in meetings about lockdown procedures, fire drills, H1N1 precautionary measures, and other things that I know are important but I've already forgotten about them because the meetings were (sorry) really boring
2. Made labels for duotangs and notebooks. Normally, this is not a challenge, but since I am not literate on my new printing program, I had to manually play around with all the margins in a WordPerfect document and make sure they all fit on the stickers by one by one, changing the sizes of my columns.
3. Ripped down old, outdated pictures that I had kept up on the walls of my classroom with inspirationaly sayings and math formulas because there was nothing else to have up there.
4. Put up new borders. I owe the other teachers a debt of gratitude for the pine cone, purple sparkle, rainbow, African tidbits borders that they all gave me.
5. Laminated until my fingers were numb.
6. Put stickers on buckets.
7. Put stickers on the stickers I put on buckets.
8. Photocopied.
Tomorrow, I have to laminate, sticker, staple, organize, and generally get my room looking ready for the 19 grade 6 and 7's that are going to pile into my room on Tuesday morning, so that when they walk into room 6 (which is no longer the spare room because my name is on the outside of the room) they'll be excited for school. Which they aren't. Which I'm not.
Is it June yet?
And in the past 3 days I have:
1. Sat in meetings about lockdown procedures, fire drills, H1N1 precautionary measures, and other things that I know are important but I've already forgotten about them because the meetings were (sorry) really boring
2. Made labels for duotangs and notebooks. Normally, this is not a challenge, but since I am not literate on my new printing program, I had to manually play around with all the margins in a WordPerfect document and make sure they all fit on the stickers by one by one, changing the sizes of my columns.
3. Ripped down old, outdated pictures that I had kept up on the walls of my classroom with inspirationaly sayings and math formulas because there was nothing else to have up there.
4. Put up new borders. I owe the other teachers a debt of gratitude for the pine cone, purple sparkle, rainbow, African tidbits borders that they all gave me.
5. Laminated until my fingers were numb.
6. Put stickers on buckets.
7. Put stickers on the stickers I put on buckets.
8. Photocopied.
Tomorrow, I have to laminate, sticker, staple, organize, and generally get my room looking ready for the 19 grade 6 and 7's that are going to pile into my room on Tuesday morning, so that when they walk into room 6 (which is no longer the spare room because my name is on the outside of the room) they'll be excited for school. Which they aren't. Which I'm not.
Is it June yet?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Oh September
So, my summer is almost over. On Monday, at 9am, I have to be in school for fun meetings and socializing with the other teachers. I like them, but I don't think I'm ready to go back to school yet. I understand how students feel. I could pretend during the summer that I wasn't actually a teacher, and now I have to be a teacher again. Harumph.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Julie and Julia
So, yes, I saw the movie about Julia Child. And walking away from it, I realized that I missed doing this. She does it in the movie, although it's about cooking, and I'm not going to do it about cooking, but I do miss it. Sometimes it's nice to write about things that I wouldn't necessarily want to write about in my journal.
Yes, I've been avoiding almost everything personal since my mom died. I don't know - it's just hard to find a way to connect to people again without thinking that they feel they might be careful around me. I'm not going to break. Some days are good, almost too good, and I feel guilty about the fact that it's so easy some days. But then other days it's not good - things I used to enjoy are hard to do. Like, for instance, I can't really watch Grey's anatomy anymore. Certain episodes used to make me cry, but it seems that they all do now, especially the one with George's dad, and he said that he didn't know how to live in a world after his dad had died. I said that same thing. But yeah, I mean, everyone was so great when she died. My friends were so supportive and good and I can't believe they were so supportive and I'm so incredibly grateful. But now I find it's hard to bounce back from all that.
Anyway, I'm due back to school in a couple of weeks (which I'm so not ready for). Most of the teachers are in the school already, getting ready for the coming school year, and I haven't stepped foot in the school since I had to pick up the plant from my desk. But with this week almost up, and my Starbucks shifts only small ones at night, having nothing to do all day makes next week that much harder. It's going to be weird, going back to school. It almost feels like nothing happened last year and that this year is my first year.
Oh, and if you are at all interested, you can contact your local MS chapter to see if they carry the endms.ca car magnets. I know the Hamilton Chapter does because I got mine from there, and the Brampton one does not. It's only $5 and I know car magnets aren't everyone's forte, what with the constant moving every week because they will eat away at the paint on your car (yeah, I know) but it means a lot to me, and all the thousands of families that suffer from MS.
Oh, and watch out Grandma's, but I'm cross-stitching up a storm.
Yes, I've been avoiding almost everything personal since my mom died. I don't know - it's just hard to find a way to connect to people again without thinking that they feel they might be careful around me. I'm not going to break. Some days are good, almost too good, and I feel guilty about the fact that it's so easy some days. But then other days it's not good - things I used to enjoy are hard to do. Like, for instance, I can't really watch Grey's anatomy anymore. Certain episodes used to make me cry, but it seems that they all do now, especially the one with George's dad, and he said that he didn't know how to live in a world after his dad had died. I said that same thing. But yeah, I mean, everyone was so great when she died. My friends were so supportive and good and I can't believe they were so supportive and I'm so incredibly grateful. But now I find it's hard to bounce back from all that.
Anyway, I'm due back to school in a couple of weeks (which I'm so not ready for). Most of the teachers are in the school already, getting ready for the coming school year, and I haven't stepped foot in the school since I had to pick up the plant from my desk. But with this week almost up, and my Starbucks shifts only small ones at night, having nothing to do all day makes next week that much harder. It's going to be weird, going back to school. It almost feels like nothing happened last year and that this year is my first year.
Oh, and if you are at all interested, you can contact your local MS chapter to see if they carry the endms.ca car magnets. I know the Hamilton Chapter does because I got mine from there, and the Brampton one does not. It's only $5 and I know car magnets aren't everyone's forte, what with the constant moving every week because they will eat away at the paint on your car (yeah, I know) but it means a lot to me, and all the thousands of families that suffer from MS.
Oh, and watch out Grandma's, but I'm cross-stitching up a storm.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Rollercoasters and mundane conversation
I like my starbucks friends, but there comes a time when you are standing in the top gun line for an hour and a half (now called the flight deck or something stupid and non-movie related like that) and all people talk about is customers (mostly by their drink order, which I don't care enough to remember) and I think to myself, there must be more to life than this for some people. I'm sure the people around us wanted to kill us.
Another line gem was hearing a girl complain about how her mom was going to call the cops on her because she smokes too much weed, and then she was all like, "it's not like there's a law against smoking weed." Actually, stupid, there is. Drugs are illegal. Maybe your mom is worried about how stupid all that weed is making you.
And Behemoth...by the end, we were all kind of in tears. It was terrifying.
Another line gem was hearing a girl complain about how her mom was going to call the cops on her because she smokes too much weed, and then she was all like, "it's not like there's a law against smoking weed." Actually, stupid, there is. Drugs are illegal. Maybe your mom is worried about how stupid all that weed is making you.
And Behemoth...by the end, we were all kind of in tears. It was terrifying.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
The Silence
I'm breaking my silence to write a letter.
Dear Kings of Leon,
I love you. Please marry me. And if not, maybe you could connect me with the guy from star trek who plays the young and dashing Captain Kirk? He's also dreamy, and since all y'all were at the MTV awards, you could hook me up.
thanks
Love, Alaina
Dear Kings of Leon,
I love you. Please marry me. And if not, maybe you could connect me with the guy from star trek who plays the young and dashing Captain Kirk? He's also dreamy, and since all y'all were at the MTV awards, you could hook me up.
thanks
Love, Alaina
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Well, it's going to be a long, hard couple of months. Last Thursday my dad and I planned her funeral, and this week we are going shopping for funeral clothes. We picked out the pall bearers, the minister, bought a plot where my Opa is. And now we wait.
It seems weird to wait for something so un-fun. But I keep going because if I sit there too long, staring at her, I get really sad, and if I don't hear her breathe, I freak out. I gotta keep going because this could be over tomorrow, or it could be another couple of months.
And it might seem crass, but I'm also "excited". Let me explain. For my whole life, my dad and I have been needed. We've never been able to go far or do things independently. I mean, yes, I went to school away from home, but at the end of the day, I always ended up back here, just in case something should happen. But now my dad and I will be able to have a life. I'll be able to drive to Hamilton (in my new car no less) and not have to worry about being home in time so that I can give my dad a break. We are going to go to Holland, see where my grandparents grew up. We can go out for dinner on the spur of a moment because when we come home from work, we don't feel like cooking. And I may finally get to have my life back. I met a boy a while ago, and we went out once, and it seemed pretty promising that we would go out again, but now this is all-consuming. When it's all said and done, and I'm finished grieving (somewhat, because I'll never be finished), I'll be able to do things that I was always jealous of my other friends being able to do.
Anyway, we are strong, trusting and leaning that God has a plan, and knowing that the bullshit (sorry Jesus) that we've put up with for 25 years has not been in vain. And we know that she'll be dancing in heaven, hanging out with my Opa who has been waiting for her.
It seems weird to wait for something so un-fun. But I keep going because if I sit there too long, staring at her, I get really sad, and if I don't hear her breathe, I freak out. I gotta keep going because this could be over tomorrow, or it could be another couple of months.
And it might seem crass, but I'm also "excited". Let me explain. For my whole life, my dad and I have been needed. We've never been able to go far or do things independently. I mean, yes, I went to school away from home, but at the end of the day, I always ended up back here, just in case something should happen. But now my dad and I will be able to have a life. I'll be able to drive to Hamilton (in my new car no less) and not have to worry about being home in time so that I can give my dad a break. We are going to go to Holland, see where my grandparents grew up. We can go out for dinner on the spur of a moment because when we come home from work, we don't feel like cooking. And I may finally get to have my life back. I met a boy a while ago, and we went out once, and it seemed pretty promising that we would go out again, but now this is all-consuming. When it's all said and done, and I'm finished grieving (somewhat, because I'll never be finished), I'll be able to do things that I was always jealous of my other friends being able to do.
Anyway, we are strong, trusting and leaning that God has a plan, and knowing that the bullshit (sorry Jesus) that we've put up with for 25 years has not been in vain. And we know that she'll be dancing in heaven, hanging out with my Opa who has been waiting for her.
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